Welcome back Franco fan! Please share your thoughts and leave some comments!

I would like to officially introduce Frugal Franco’s first guest post. A friend of mine, who goes by many names but we’ll call him the Bargain Burro, recently submitted a diary esk dictation of a memorable Black Friday. Enjoy!

Franco

Tuesday
I went over to my friend’s house and had to listen to him brag about his new flat screen TV all night. I sure would love to steal his thunder by getting a bigger one for less money. Fortunately, black Friday is right around the corner.

Wednesday
Lucky for me, bargain hunting enthusiasts have posted all the upcoming Black Friday adds online. After much deliberation, I’ve decided on the doorbuster TV at Best Buy and have my eye on a sweet laptop to boot.

Turkey Day
After several failed attempts to round up some friends for the Black Friday extravaganza, I’ve conceded the fact that my long night camping out on the cold concrete will have to be spent in the company of strangers.

Turkey Day 9:00 PM
I have arrived at Best Buy with thermal sleeping bag in tow. It’s literally freezing outside and I’m distressed that there are already 12 people in line! Has the world gone mad? Don’t these people know its still 9 hours before the doors open?

Turkey Day 9:05 PM
The first “what the hell am I doing out here?” thought runs through mind.

Turkey Day 9:10 PM
I’ve noticed that 4 college kids in front of me don’t look like they are dressed for the cold. I wonder if they can last through the night? Their loss will be my gain. On Black Friday, it’s survival of the fittest.

Turkey Day 9:35 PM
The 14^th, 15^th and 16^th people are now in line. The 14^th person is a man that looks like the “before version” of Jared from the Subway commercials. The 15^th and 16^th people happen to be two amazingly attractive females. This could be an entertaining night but for the fact that 300 pounds of man flesh separates me from these two lovely ladies.

Turkey Day 9:38 PM
Wished the Jared look alike had taken a couple more servings of turkey and mashed potatoes for the 20^th time.

Turkey Day 9:45 PM
I am deciding whether giving up my spot in line to be next to the two ladies is worth the risk of potentially missing out on the doorbuster deals. Could I possibly score a LCD TV, and a female companion to enjoy it with on the same night?

Turkey Day 9:46 PM
Decided the LCD is most important. I’m here for the TV…stay the course…a thousand points of light.

Turkey Day 9:50 PM
I changed my mind. I walk back to the car pretending like I had forgotten something then return to the back of the line. Jared offers to let me have my spot back, but I politely decline.

Turkey Day 9:55PM
Introduce myself to Jessica and Brandy.

Turkey Day 9:57 PM
My conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Jessica and Brandy’s boyfriends. I have just gone from the 14^th to the 16^th to the 18^th person in line. I’m no longer in the mood for conversation.

Turkey Day 10:30 PM
There are now 25 people in line. The guy behind me looks like he drove in from his cabin in Montana or perhaps he’s just a normal guy who doesn’t like to shave or maybe his razor broke and he’s here to get a screamin’ deal on a new one (tough way to save a couple bucks on a razor).

Turkey Day 10:34 PM
A large group of teenage kids arrive with a boombox in hand. Who still listens to cassette players? Fortunately, they aren’t using it.

Turkey Day 10:45 PM
I can no longer feel my feet…should have worn two pairs of socks. Decide to try my luck sleeping. Lay out my sleeping bag on the filthy concrete and climb in.

Turkey Day 11:40 PM
It’s hard to fall asleep outside on the freezing cold concrete in the midst of a growing crowd.

Black Friday 2:00 AM
I am awoken by the smell of urine. Apparently someone nearby did not think ahead to bring a bottle to pee in. Six to one says it’s my Unabomber line mate.

Black Friday 3:30 AM
It’s common knowledge that 3:30 in the morning is the best time to dance to one’s boombox.

Black Friday 4:00 AM
There are now well over a hundred people in line. I am huddled in my sleeping bag wedged between the brick wall of the store and the concrete ground. With all these luxurious accommodations it’s a wonder I’m still freezing my butt off.

Black Friday 4:10 AM
The first fist fight breaks out. Its way back in the line, and I don’t risk losing my position to see what’s going on. Besides, I am frozen solid and too cold to move.

Black Friday 4:30 AM
I check my watch for the 30^th time. I’m sure the last hour and a half will go quickly. Besides they will probably let us in a little early so it won’t be a full hour and a half.

Black Friday 4:35 AM
I think my watch is broken, in the last hour it’s only ticked off 5 minutes. Surely it won’t be much longer. How in the hell did I forget to bring my mp3 player?

Black Friday 4:40 AM
A freezing rain/snow mix starts to fall. How is it possible for freezing rain to fall when it’s already this cold? Perhaps my fellow thrifty consumers and I are somehow being punished. God knows we deserve it!

Black Friday 4:50 AM
I have come to the conclusion that I would happily give up all the money I am saving on the TV and other electronic goodies for a cup of hot chocolate.

Black Friday 5:10 AM
I have begun to wonder how things will work when the store opens. Do we just rush in and the first person to get their grubby paws on an item claims the prize? Will they give us tickets and let us buy the items in an orderly fashion? Do I have any recourse if I end up wasting 9 hours and come up empty handed?

Black Friday 5:20 AM
A group of 6 guys who all look like they could play nose tackle for the Chicago Bears form a new line in front of the old line. No one will dare stand up to these line butting behemoths who have now secured a front row spot in the Black Friday dash. I am now the 24^th person in line. Hopefully no one else permanently relocates themselves next to one of their friends further ahead of me in line.

Black Friday 5:25 AM
The first employee finally arrives at the store. Though I don’t envy what they are about to go through dealing with this crowd, I would give anything to go warm up in the store.

Black Friday 5:50 AM
What is taking so long to get set up? If I am not in that store by 6 o’clock I am never shopping at Best Buy again.

Black Friday 5:55 AM
The portly looking store manager finally comes out to make his announcement to the restless crowd gathered outside. It looks like tickets with be distributed for the doorbuster sales to people in line. This bodes well for my chance to avoid being in a stampede once the doors open.

Black Friday 6:00 AM
The last doorbuster TV goes to the Jessica’s Boyfriend and the last laptop is gone well before all of us. I am offered a GPS and MP3 doorbuster ticket and take them just for the hell of it. If I am coming home empty handed, then so are a couple other crazies that waited in line behind me.

Black Friday 6:01 AM
I offer to trade my doorbuster tickets for the TV ticket with Jessica’s Boyfriend…”sorry dude”

Black Friday 6:02 AM
As the last of the doorbuster tickets are dispersed, the crowd begins to edge forward towards the door and then all of a sudden there is a mad rush for position as the once single file line becomes a ruckus mob ready to swim across the moat and storm the castle walls. I am too slow grabbing my sleeping bag and end up dropping further back in “line.” If I can beat the mob, there is a non door buster TV that is still a good deal. There are also several laptops I might be able to snag.

Black Friday 6:04 AM
I am getting squashed, it’s hard to breathe, but with the way the rest of the crowd smells that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Employees inside the store unlock the doors and then quickly get out of the way of the oncoming stampede. Once inside the store, I begin to panic. Where are the TVs? There are the laptops! Should I go there first? Oops, I dropped my sleeping bag…no time to save lost soldiers…I’ve spotted the TVs!

Black Friday 6:04.30 AM
My hesitation has cost me valuable seconds. Several people have swarmed toward all the good TVs and have already grabbed the tickets. I quickly change my focus and transition to the laptops, but I’m swimming upstream like the salmon of Capistrano against the current of humanity flowing into the store.

Black Friday 6:06 AM
I am in the laptop section and have once again come up empty handed. All around me people are grabbing items off the shelves in a mad rush. It appears as if they don’t care what they grab or how much it costs. The frenzy of noise and activity makes a commodities trading pit seem like a library.

Black Friday 6:10 AM
I am at the customer service counter waiting to redeem my tickets for my GPS and MP3 player. There are roughly 40 people in front of me, but at least I’m warm.

Black Friday 6:30 AM
There are now only 32 people in front of me in the customer service line waiting for their doorbusters to be retrieved.

Black Friday 7:10 AM
After ONLY an hour in line, I have my doorbusters in hand. Now it’s off to the checkout line.

Black Friday 7:40 AM
I am finally leaving the store now $400 dollars poorer but on my way home with some new electronic toys and a “great” story to tell.

…

Many Fridays in the future 8:00 PM
My girlfriend and I are on our way to watch a movie with a one of her new friends. My 19 inch CRT TV isn’t ideal for movie watching. It’s too bad I don’t have that beautiful LCD flat screen. We are late because the GPS unit has given us the wrong directions. I should have just returned it when I later found out I could have bought it for less off the internet. As I struggle to redirect it using voice commands, my girlfriend chimes in that maybe I should just stop for directions. Her helpful comment makes me wish that Black Friday had gone a little differently and it was Jessica or Brandy sitting next to me instead.

That same Friday 8:10 PM
We pull up a short time later at her friend’s house. To my chagrin, her new friend turns out to be Jessica and we are at her boyfriend’s house…neither of them recognize me. We walk in and I notice the TV hanging on the wall. The coup de grace to my Black Friday experience ends with the words “You wouldn’t believe the deal I got on this baby!”

Related posts

• The Terrific Taco Salad
• Roll with the Punches
• Packaged “Deals”